An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind

I’m not single anymore! Strangeeeee. Hopefully i don’t screw it up. Not very often am in relationships. But hes cute, sweet, enjoy his company, makes me feel great about myself… decided it would be stupid of me to let him be another passer by. Wish me luck!

What will become of this high hoped infatuation? 

a love worth waiting for?

two hearts meant to float together,

yet left in a world of distance.

so close in spirit, such a bond emotionaly.

but where is the physical touch?

the feel of a warm embrace. 

that glow after ever kiss…

How long will i wait to call you mine?

when will our hearts merge?

the fork in the road longs to become one single lane.

waiting for us to travel together.

What is the next move in this board game?

I can feel check mate a few blocks away.

Yet. player one has stepped out for a bit.

and left player two waiting for the next move. 

will it be a fatal one? 

or will the game continue on.

Checkmate you say. under your breath.

yet louder than you realize.

almost as if your shouting it from a mountain top.

and i can hear you at the bottom.

Swiftly ringing through one ear. and out the other.

My body fills with angst. 

i know the game is at its wits end. 

My effort to win was not successful.

I leave my seat empty. 

all my pieces still on the playing field.

yet my ego still intact.

we will meet again my dear. 

be waiting for a rematch around the bend.

ill be walking across the bridge to meet you again soon.

Round two came sooner than i’de expected.

i had no time to prepare!

no time to learn any new tactics.

But its only time right? i’ve got my whole life…

or do i?

I really feel like a forfeit. 

This games taken an unexpected turn.

no warnings. no signs. and you’ve brought an army.

im standing on the combat line alone. with just my voice and my heart.

but they’re getting more fragile.

i dont think they can regain health this time.

this chess game has turned over.

it’s become mid battle of some war fighting video game.

i’m playing the beginning soldier.

the guy who hasn’t a clue what hes doing.

just follows along with the rest of the army.

making attempts at shooting but misses every time…

it’s not long now before the opposing team figures me out.

but it’s too late to turn back.

i’m in the middle of a bloody battle.

and well, i’ve never been the type to give up on things. 

so where do i go? whats next?

should i get myself discharged for medical reasons?

or should i keep fighting this ongoing battle,

and continue withering my health down to nothing from these battle scars.

and part three…

the game continues on.

please just lead me to the fairytale ending.

i wish i had some awesome cheat codes.

oh wait…

this is my life…. it only feels like a video game…

i wish i got on here more. theres been lots of photographic memories that should be posted up. but. oh well! i went on a road trip. it was awesome. but other than that i’ve been pretty to myself lately. been painting and drawing more . and reading. that’s one of my new years resolutions, is to start reading more. also been meditating more than i used to.but still been feeling rather empty allot… its aggravating. but im getting used to it. i also have all these crazy ideas and dreams conjuring up when im sitting here alone. hm… dreaming is nice. its good to have high hopes. than to have none at all. after all. we do learn from our mistakes… and regret is a word i do not let exist in my life…

i think i want to re-locate myself. change of environment and scenery. yeah… that would be amazing.